Expecting baby number two any day now, has me reminiscing about Bianca’s birth. People close to me have pointed out how their labors and births reflect the personality of their babes, and judging from my first experience, I could not agree more.

Pregnancy and birth are the ultimate exercise in surrender and release, and Bianca’s birth was no different.

I went into my pregnancy a little concerned as my blood pressure was elevated at the start. We were originally patients at our local birth center, and after several discussions with the director, other midwives and researching our options, we ultimately decided on a hospital birth with a midwife I fell in love with at another practice.

If the possibility of transfer or need for induction was high at the end of my pregnancy, I did not want to be at a hospital I was not familiar with, with a team I never met.

This was hard for me to accept, but the best choice for us and potential challenges which could arise.

Of course, I had visions of the calm atmosphere, warm, soft lighting and iPod playing in the background in one of the beautiful rooms of the birth center, but I had to get ok with the fact that the environment was going to be a bit different.

Besides being super sick in the beginning, my pregnancy went well. Baby and I were both healthy, my blood pressure seemed to be cooperating and I continued to exercise until the end.

Around 37 weeks my blood pressure started creeping up, and monitoring in the hospital was required. My readings would fall nice and low after observation in triage, and I was released at 37 and 38 weeks.

Each week that went by felt like we dodged a bullet.

At my 39-week visit, they took my bp and it was much higher than usual. Baby was very low, and I was sent over to hospital triage and told by my midwife it was time.

I immediately began to panic, but tried to stay calm and focused. I called Chris and asked him to meet me at the hospital with our bag, as I most likely would not be going home. Our midwife met us in triage, explained she was not comfortable allowing me to go another week and it was time to have a baby.

Naturally, I was disappointed. She knew the last thing I wanted was an induction, as we were trying for a natural, medication-free birth.

My doula, family and close friends offered words of encouragement and told me it would be fine.

I listened, tried to stay positive and go with the flow.

At 3 pm my induction started. We kept in touch with family, chatted, a close friend brought us dinner and spent time with us and overall just tried to relax.

 

My doula suggested an acupuncturist, and late that evening she came to work on me while we waited.

Once Chris and I were alone and it was late and dark, I finally let myself feel what I needed to feel. I sobbed for what felt like forever and he reminded me to just take it one step at a time and everything would work out.

At that point I surrendered and realized it was out of my hands, and up to my baby. All I could do was work with the process.

In the middle of the night, I started having pain in my back and remember asking my nurse if I was having contractions. She confirmed they were indeed contractions, verifying my biggest fear…back labor.  

I stayed in bed laboring and super uncomfortable the rest of the night, unable to sleep. At 7 am the next morning my midwife came in to check me, and much to our surprise we were dilated 3 cm!

We timed contractions, and my team encouraged me to get up, move around, shower and eat a nice big breakfast. At this point I started to feel nauseous. I got some breakfast down and immediately after vomited. To avoid dehydration, we kept busy with fluids.

To ease my discomfort, I spent most of the morning in the shower using the warm water for pain relief, as I squatted and walked back and forth. Since all my pain was in my back, sitting on a birth ball was the only thing that helped, but limited my mobility.

Late morning, we met our nurse for the day after the shift change. She was kind, sweet, soft spoken, and friendly. When she walked in, I stepped out of the shower to introduce myself and her reaction was, “oh hello, you are not shy”.  No, not modest here at all!

She helped me get ready to move down to labor and delivery. Her and another nurse kept all the positive vibes telling me I was having this baby today. Part of me wanted to believe them, but the other part remembered my midwife mentioning inductions can take days.

The L&D suite was huge. Nice big bathroom with a walk-in shower I could use. At this point I could not move around, as all my labor was in my tailbone. Sitting on a birth ball and counter pressure were the only things that helped. After getting checked again, we were at 4 cm, and I remember thinking, this could be a while!

My doula arrived and helped tremendously. We tried moving around, different positions, the peanut ball, but the only relief was counter-pressure on my back. I could not keep any food or drink down and kept dry heaving. We agreed to anti-nausea medication and it made such a difference! I could focus and keep liquids down.

A few more hours passed, with no additional progress. Feeling defeated and frustrated my team suggested Pitocin. This was one of the last things I wanted, as my goal was to have a natural delivery, with no pain medication or epidural. All I heard before this was horror stories about Pitocin and how contractions are no longer manageable once started. We pushed back, but my midwife assured us it would be a very low dose, just to encourage things to pick back up.

I was so tired at this point. All I wanted was sleep. We had been up for a day and a half, and I had no energy. I remember my water breaking, but when I stood up, it was just a trickle. My team jumped into action and was surprised at how little fluid there was.

A half hour later, I felt the urge to use the bathroom. Locking myself in the bathroom I sat on the toilet and my body began pushing. It terrified me, as I was not in control and was not doing the pushing. After sitting alone for a bit panicking, my midwife knocked at the door and asked if she could come in. She suspected I was pushing and checked me.

Ten centimeters!!!! I could not believe it. She told me I could push gently and was gauging baby’s position.

Birth is so intimate, real, and plain funny sometimes. I sat on the toilet pushing, and my entire team was in the bathroom with me. Chris, my doula, my incredible nurse, and my midwife. We laughed and chatted as I pushed.

Eventually my nurse asked our midwife, “are we doing this here?” and she said, “no”, we needed to make our way to the bed.

We all made our way back into the suite and I pushed on my knees, leaning on the back of the hospital bed, for a while. I felt so much relief. Baby must have turned the right way, and my back labor disappeared. I felt no pain, except for my stomach hardening with each contraction.  

After a while, my legs were going numb, and baby was not moving down. I remember feeling frustrated and heard Rudolph playing on the television in the background. I yelled out, “can we turn this off”, and my nurse quickly shut it off.  

After deciding to switch positions, I moved on to my back and started making progress. Chris was filming and taking photos and kept encouraging me, as he could see the head. Eventually I pushed hard enough and felt her crowning.  

Everyone told me I was doing it, but I knew we were SO close. Terrified of the “ring of fire” you hear about, I was not sure if I was ready to push her head out. With the next contraction I asked my midwife if I could just keep going and made the decision this was it. Everyone yelled excitedly, “yes”!

Pushing hard and long with the next wave, I immediately knew her head was out, and the rest of her tiny body quickly followed. My midwife said, “reach down and grab your baby”, I remember saying “I can’t” and crying, and she said “yes, you can”.  It was nowhere near as painful as I expected, and I felt incredible. I said to my team “I am ready to run a marathon” and everyone laughed.  I pulled her squishy, slippery body close to my chest and was afraid to look. Was she ok? Was she breathing? What did she look like?

Finally, she let out a tiny cry and I looked down at her beautiful face.

The atmosphere in the room was calm and relaxed and I felt surrounded by so much love and support.

We focused on the new bundle of joy on my chest, while my midwife fixed me up.

Bianca had a true knot in her cord, and it was huge. I was filled with so much gratitude it did not cause any issues while she was in utero.

At 2:59 pm (exactly 24 hours after the induction started, with about 12 hours of actual labor), we welcomed our 5 lb. 11 oz little girl into the world.

Not sure what little man will bring, but we are excited to see how his story unfolds.

Were any of your births similar? Were they all different? Share with me in the comments! I LOVE to hear birth stories.