Like the end of an endurance event, the end of pregnancy is mental for me.

Not only are you pushing your body to the limits physically, but you need to go inward and accept what is happening or focus on the external to make it through.

Closing in on week 33 of this pregnancy, has me doing all the mental preparation for bringing our little munchkin earth side.

With my first birth, I was ready. Not much could shake me. 

Sure, I worried here or there, but I immediately focused on what I could control and kept going.

I read so many books. Gathered stats on the frequency of complications. Understood what medications could be used and effects on me and the babe. Watched documentaries, and spent my free time viewing hundreds of birth videos on You Tube.

My husband walked in one day and I yelled: “holy crap you need to watch this one…. this lady seems like she is dying!”

His response, “why are you doing that to yourself?”

Truth is each video helped me feel more empowered and prepared. 

Knowing my options in the event of an induction, intervention, or what happens during a c-section eased my mind. Watching how different women handled childbirth and seeing their experiences was reassuring. 

This time around the stressors are a bit different. Instead of a hospital birth with my midwife, we are planning a home birth (for a variety of reasons and based on how our previous birth went). 

I’ve never been one to care about what others think, but tell people your birth preferences and the flood of negative commentary is enough to make anyone question their choices.

I reached out to a close friend recently after reading something online and she reminded me of what I already knew: “surround yourself with positive birth stories”.

So, what can you do to mentally prepare for birth? Whether this is your first or fifth baby, check out some of my helpful resources to get in the zone.  

• Educate yourself AND your partner.

The movies, TV and examining others’ experiences from the outside, is not real life. Birth and parenting are often romanticized and until you live it, what goes on behind closed doors, remains a mystery!

Birth is beautiful, empowering and life changing, but it is messy, raw, and flat out hard at times.

My favorite social media accounts to follow (all on the gram) are informative, educational, uplifting, but real and honest:

@painfreebirth

@birthwithoutfear

@badassmotherbirther

@yourbadassnaturalbirth

@birthbecomesyou

@melissajeanbabies (for after)

Many of the above offer birth and post-partum classes as well.

My birth book list:

1. The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth, Henci Goer

2. Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, Ina May Baskin

3. Birth Without Fear: The Judgement-Free Guide to Taking Charge of your Pregnancy, Birth and Postpartum, January Harshe

4. Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: A Doctor’s Guide to Natural Childbirth and Gentle Early Parenting Choices – Sarah J. Buckley, M.D.

• Get clear on what you do and do not want.

Maybe this looks like a birth plan or a wish list. Some people are turned off by the idea of a birth plan or say, “I am just going to see what happens”. Being flexible, open-minded, and ready to pivot during birth is necessary, however, if you go in without an idea of what you do and not want in each situation, you may end up completely overwhelmed and feeling like you do not have options.  

Most practitioners and hospitals are familiar with a birth plan or at a least the patient’s wishes. If you are not comfortable writing a plan and discussing it with your care team or midwife, be sure to have an idea before the big day (whether it is scheduled or not), on preferences for you and baby.  

Whatever your ideal birth, remember your team is there to ensure the safety of mama and baby and will guide you accordingly.

• Visualization and meditation

This is something you can do in the months or weeks prior to the birth, but these are incredibly powerful tools during labor and delivery. Whether you are planning an un-medicated birth or not, visualization and meditation are empowering, calming and remarkably effective.  

You Tube has some great options, but a few apps to have on your tablet or phone include:

1. Head Space
2. Insight Timer
3. Calm

• Hypnobirthing, Bradley Method, Mantras and Affirmations

Hypnobirthing and the Bradley method are popular tools for childbirth and to assist with relaxation. Another option is to write out your favorite mantras or birthing affirmations on index cards. You can purchase a set to work with before and during your birth. Hang around the hospital room, birth center or home, so they are visible during the main event. Etsy and Amazon have some gorgeous options. No need to make your own if DIY is not your thing!

1. Hypnobirthing International
2. Hypnobubs
3. The Hypnobirthing Book: An Inspirational Guide for a Calm, Confident, Natural Birth, Katharine Graves
4. The Bradley Method

• Hire a Doula

Having an additional support person and extra set of hands during childbirth is invaluable. Not only will your doula be an asset during the birth, but a doula can provide you with tons of educational resources before and after! There are also doulas specializing in the post-partum period, and will help with supporting your needs after the birth.

1. DONA International
2. Doula Match
3. Ask other parents for recommendations.

No matter how you prepare for birth, know you are strong, powerful, and capable! Tell me how you prepped for birth. What are some tools and techniques that were helpful?